My cry for help : how can i help my sabotaging family ?

‘I have morons on my team’. Ever see that film? I love that line. It’s from Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid, with Redford & Newman, late 60’s. Great movie with great actors.

Judgemental, eh ? I’m desperate.

Can you help ? I can’t.

Thank you.

[Update 2016-05-19]
This was me being a victim about victims. Not very smart.
For the record, i took very small doses of acid on the day of this video. Not 100% sure what the substance is since i cannot verify it, however. Feels like coffee concentrated into the center of my brain. Seems to have highs & lows, feels unnatural, not like shrooms, more synthetic.
I have a lot of work. I need to stop hiding from my pain & loneliness. I need to stop wasting time, i must focus and stick to it. My brain needs rewiring, deeply.


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Julia
    Jun 24, 2016 @ 23:54:44

    I feel sometime in the same situation like yours which I would compare with E. Munch Scream painting yet over 25 years ( the age of my son). I assume that it’s my f… , f… illusion I created for some reasons. But how I can take power from this illusion? Does DMT helps? I see that not that much from your video. I left my mother and my brother in their “insanity” a decade ago ( its been easy even though I loved them more than my own life) but I can’t leave my son… HOW WE CAN MOVE FURTHER WITH THAT SHIT IN OUR MIND?? Oh God help me..
    Many thanks for your vids. I like your clear mind and sincerity.


    • yannwithayahuasca
      Aug 17, 2016 @ 19:30:47

      Bufo Alvarius always helps, i think. I do also think that shrooms and LSD can help a lot, but they can be tricky to manage.
      How are you doing these days?


    • yannwithayahuasca
      Dec 25, 2016 @ 03:23:29

      Hello Julia and thanks for your comment. I don’t have answers but maybe see my other comment here, to Gina.
      DMT always helps. 😉 LSD, however, can make me obsessed & loopy, like in this video.
      See my stuff on Bufo Alvarius here. It is smokable Love.
      Have a great present Christmas!
      All the best,


  2. Gina
    Oct 03, 2016 @ 08:14:14

    Hello, Yann. I’ve struggled with my family’s mindset, too. I always evaded the problem. Have you thought that you actually don’t love them? How can you love them unconditionally, if your condition is that they stop being the sort of people they are? I have come to this realisation with my family.

    The “mask” of love is probably rooted to our still being enmeshed with their way of thinking. We “love” them as much as we “love” a part of ourselves that reminds us of things that bond us. But I feel that I hate them and I despise their ways so much, and that makes me a horrible person.

    We reap what we sow. The parents are the first who have the chance to sow unconditional love to the child. But if the child receives judgement and hate, this is what he/she gives back. And the vicious cycle goes on. Since we are old enough, (I’m 34) it’s in our hands to be brave enough to stop this vicious cycle. It starts with our culturing love, unconditional love towards everyone and everything.

    From this enlightenment/self-realisation/consciousness-expanding path, love in the conventional sense is missing. The “conventional” sense is caring and leading or forcing people to what we think is better for them. So, unless we break ourselves free from this notion/”mask” of love, we don’t love truly, unconditionally.

    What has your progress been with your family, since posting the video?


    • yannwithayahuasca
      Oct 03, 2016 @ 08:40:19

      Great comment, thank you.
      This was me being a victim about victims. It’s also a form of Resistance (I’m reading The War Of Art, by Steven Pressfield) and procrastination. I have more than enough problems of my own to not get hung up about other people’s. The best i can do is to sort myself out, we are not all on the same path or journey, we are all different because our perspective is different.
      I occasionally get frustrated with them, stuck in a loop, but now i can see it starting to happen and consciously break the cycle. I’m slooowly becoming more aware of little things like that. More and more paying attention to my inner guiding system.
      When i am with them i tryyy to not show annoyance and ask more questions rather than assume and judge. I also try to accept that my way is not the only way and that, really, the only differences are in the perspective. We think we see & feel the same but we don’t, and when it comes to thinking…oh dear…it’s so easy to get stuck in mindfucks. I think too much and they manage to beat me at it, but still, i feel that because i can recognise in them things i have in me. You can’t get irritated by things you don’t have in you, i think.
      Essentially, i need to show more empathy, something that starts at home, with me loving myself more. I need to focus more, be more disciplined and work towards my goals. Then, i think, i will be in a much better position to help…if that is even what is needed.
      I think focussing on other people’s problems is usually an excuse to not look at your own.


    • yannwithayahuasca
      Dec 25, 2016 @ 03:15:52

      Thanks for your comment Gina. Yes, i have been through those impressions, but part of me since Bufo Alvarius and Ayahuasca knows that deep down my blueprint is love & absence of judgement. I also feel that we project and manifest our own reality and that they are a side of me that just wants to be loved. We just want to be loved, Lenny Kravitz is right. By denying them love we deny ourselves love. So there lies our challenge. 😉
      Be present, be in the moment, grateful for it, and none of “their” shit matters. Easier said than done ? Better done than not. 😉
      I wish you a great fucking Christmas Gina ! 🙂
      All the best,


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