3 hours of De-armouring – almost like Bufo Alvarius?

 

With all that armour, i never stood a chance
 
What is De-armouring?
Don’t quote me on this, but here is my take on it. Our body stores emotions & traumas, tension. The practitioner presses somewhere on your body, you tell him/her when it hurts but not too much, you need to be able to “relax into the pain”. And then you breathe. You can also make sounds as you exhale…the vibrations from your voice will resonate through your body & it supposedly helps.
As you breathe, the tension reduces and the pain will eventually fade or disappear too. That’s the idea. So it makes sense that pressing a given part triggered a certain emotion, while another spot triggered something else.
 
* * *
 
I was recently gifted a massage table by 2 dear friends, and so i’ve decided to take up Reiki & massage again.
 
My learning technique for massage is simple : i find professional masseuses and offer them a free massage or an exchange, and ask for their honest feedback.
I recently did this with 2 lady friends and both were delighted. 🙂
I had already done this a while back in Mexico with 4 different professionals.
 
Yesterday, the deal was that i would receive 1 hour of De-armouring and return the favor with 2 hours of massage. Well, my De-armouring turned into THREE HOURS and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.
 
The combination of Pavlina‘s very gentle, pure feminine energy & touch with the power & intensity of the process were amazing. Trust & power working together towards postitive transformation & healing.
 
I experienced multiple emotions, with certain parts of my body triggering different emotional states, from self-love to crying from the pain of attachment through anger, amongst others. At one point, i reacted to the situation with my girlfriend/ex (we’re having a few issues…) and i thought ‘HOW DARE YOU NOT LOVE ME?! HOW DARE YOU NOT WANT ME!?’, haha!
Soon after, i said to her ‘I love you, but i love me more’. That felt nice, as if i had finally found a new foundation in me i could rely on to get me through this kind of emotional storm.
Today, i knew i would never again let her treat me like half a boyfriend. She is my ex or my future, but right now i am not hers, i am mine.
 
At one point my arms & hands were vibrating like on Ayahuasca or Bufo, it was suprisingly intense. At several moments, i had to express the awe : ‘Wow, fuck me, that’s intense!’.
Today, i feel much more serene, more embodied in the masculine, less attached to my ex, whom i have been in a very weird relationship with for 2-3 months now. Just a few days ago i was crying a lot, purposely, to get it out. Now, even though i know there is still some more crying to do, i feel like i am in a different body, with a different set of reactions.
 
It has helped me realize many things about my gf/ex too, surprisingly enough.
 
During the session, at first, the intensely feminine touch from Pavlina, even just a haphazard brushing of my leg with her hand, triggered a motion to cry (i withheld it, but wanted to). I realised with just a one-second touch how much i have missed that feminine touch and how throughout my past relationship, i have not been receiving this, or not enough.
 
Today, i went to register for Taiji, a martial art derived from Qi Gong, a health orientated practice. I feel very strongly that i need this.
 
De-armouring can benefit women in the same way it is benefitting me : it can help them to trust their feminine again enough to surrender to it, and subsequently to surrender to their man while they step out of the masculine to be embraced.
 
My next session may go a step further into the world of De-armouring, with a touch of internal ‘mapping’. Yes, that’s through the only opening i have down there. Women can have vaginal mapping too. Us guys don’t have much choice. Apparently it can be very healing too. And i’m open to healing, especially now that i’ve had a proper taste of the power of De-armouring. So we’ll see. I’m quite curious to see what will come out of it, and no, i don’t mean that literally. 😉
 
A tantric massage is also a possibility, so we’ll see how it all goes. Yesterday’s session was so powerful that Pavlina has all my trust now, and i feel i can surrender to her. I did yesterday already, especially when i let myself cry, which took some effort on my part.
And as strange as it may sound, i feel all the more masculine today and all the more attracted to the divine feminine energy, even though i surrendered to a woman (actually it was more like surrendering to the process, to the feelings, and this work could have been done by a woman with a man, of course).
 
I feel the feminine energy as a perfect match for me, and i am like a dried sponge deprived of vital water, in need of this feminine touch, this feminine presence…feminine trust & surrender.
 
The practitioner i am talking about is Pavlina Stankova and if you click that link you will find her on Facebook. If the link dies, drop a comment or send me an email and i will put you in touch with her. She works in Prague, Czech Republic.
I have known her for years, and i highly recommend her. She is gentle, caring, professional and experienced : she really knows what she is doing.

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