The Experience you are here for : YOU | Bufo Alvarius

Bufo Alvarius

Bufo Alvarius

Imagine someone who has never eaten.
Who has never breathed.
Who has never drank.
Who has never touched water, who has never swam.
Who has never felt the wind, gravity, heat or cold.
Who has never had a body.
Who has never lived.

But YOU have, and your mission is this : to tell this person what all of those things FEEL like…in WORDS.

That is my mission today if you have not yet lived & FELT this unbelievable inconceivable unimaginable Experience that is…hm…the DMT that’s already in you all the time. And i don’t just mean Bufo Alvarius’ 5-meo-DMT, ‘the most potent entheogen on the planet’ according to Terrence McKenna, King of the Psychonauts. I mean Life too. The Experience, mindblowing mindblowing mindblowing, puts you face to face with THE only Truth : YOUR Truth. It removes the complete & utter illusion of the mind, that crazy thing/hamster wheel that has convinced you to not be You. It has distracted You from the Love, it has smothered you in judgement, it convinces you to self-harm & harm others, it connives with the ego to produce sarcasm, drifting you away from the what you were when you arrived here, in The Experience. The Bufo Alvarius Experience does not remove you from The Experience Life, it is the complete opposite. [Dark Side of the Moon playing in the background.] It blows your mind away, quite and absolutely literally, it puts your mind aside to Reunite you with You. Immediately, fully. No escapely. No lies-ly. Truth-Fully.

ONE inhalation, the most important one you will take right after the first you ever did, is all you need to Reunite the sad ungrateful miserable mind-bamboozled shadow-you with The Loving Happy Judgement-free Enthusiastic Life-Hungry Grateful Experience-Loving You.

You want peace & calm ? You want to be free of all the noise in your head ? You want to be free of all the self-sabotage & wasting away ? You want to be free of all that paining judgement ? DO YOU ?

There was a yann before and there is a Yann now. WATCH ME FLY, BITCH ! I AM FREE ! YOU HEAR ME ?!? I AM FRRREEEEEEEEE !!!!
HAHAHA ! And it feels SO FUCKING GOOD. 🙂 🙂 🙂
I soooo SOOOOO MISSED that, you have NO IDEA, MAN.

It is now day 3 and it is still with me at moments. When i am in flow with myself, i feel, FEEL in all my body the great warm energy-light-whatever it is, dunny matter, it feels GRRREAT. I am alive like i cannot recall having ever been. And yet i am sure that i have felt this before. When i was new to this world. When my mind hadn’t filled my head with its lies. I am not my mind. ‘It’s not me, it’s just my mind’ [I Want To Tell You — George Harrison, on Revolver]. I am not judgement. Judgement exists nowhere but in my mind. I am not judgement. That is not Me. I Am Better than that!!! I AM FRRRREEEEEEEEE MOTHERFUUUUUCCCKKKKEEEEERRRRRR HAHAHAHAAAAA !!!! AIN’T NOTHING GONNA STOP ME NOW !!! HAHAHAHAAAAA !!!!!! It WAS ALL INSIDE MY MIND, MAN !!!

I am not fear. That is not me. I am Love. I am fearless. I am Free of judgement. I am Gratefulness. I am LOVE.

I’ll still kick you in the knackers if you bother me, though. Yeah, just thought i’d clear that up. 😉
But mostly it has been my mind bothering me. Now i seem to control it instead of my mind controlling me ! And it FEELS FANTASTIC, MAN !!

Yeah, the ‘MAN’ bit sounds very stereotypic of the Hollywood high junkie, yeah i know, but…you don’t have to care about that. I don’t. It’s just me, and i YELL it out like there is no tomorrow. Guess what ! There isn’t ! There IS no tomorrow, or yesterday, there is only NOW. Right NOW is all there is and that is so clear to me now, oh my god what a RELIEF !!!
Don’t get me wrong, i still worry about things, yes i do worry about my beloved brother, i love him so much, and he, for some reason, chooses still to refuse this Freedom, this Liberation, to himself. I have much trouble understanding why. Is it because i had to leave years ago and he still somehow thinks he has to reject anything from me in order to avoid pain ? Or is it because his mind continues to be in charge and is sabotaging him, like we almost always have ? Our dad & mother both sabotage, although Mum now does it less (Kambo & Ayahuasca), but that has been our environment. I think i might still do it without realizing, but since Saturday 5 December 2015 (my new birthday ?) it feels like my mind is much less in charge. I am aware of some of its tricks. No i am not too tired to go to the gym, FFS ! You don’t fool me ! That is NOT Me, I Am Better than that ! So i went. For hours. This morning i woke up with sore muscles, but somehow almost grateful i could feel them.
On Saturday night i discovered i could “enjoy” cold for what it is : a sensation. It’s part of The Experience. It’s why i am here : to feel, to learn, to learn through Feeling and Experiencing.

My mind cannot teach me anything. My mind has no Truthful source, it cannot teach me anything. ‘The more I learn, the less I know’ [It’s All Too Much – George Harrison, on Yellow Submarine]. My mind can only do one thing : tell me about the illusions it perceives. Not ONE single thing going on in my mind is True. All sounds crazy, eh ? Well, You know what you needs to do, no matter what your mind is telling you right now. Deep down in your heart, you, in all probability, feel in your heart that you are not enjoying life to the full, that you are not living your potential to the max, that you are not as happy and grateful for life and you would like to be…what will be your next step ? More of the same ? Or will you choose to Be You Again, Happy, Peaceful & Calm, Grateful and Loving, Excited to Be here in The Experience ? Why on earth wouldn’t you ? Please leave your mind out of it, do yourself that favour, even if it’s the only one you ever do. Choosing lies over truth makes no sense, no matter who you are or what your mind thinks.

A thought of judgement has arisen. A thought of irritation has arisen. A thought about [fill in the blanks] has arisen. That is the ONLY objective thing to say about our thoughts. There is no Truth to them because they exist only in our minds.
My judgement was just in my mind, it never existed anywhere else. I am in charge, fully in charge, of my own Happiness. And now i have been shown that i had the keys to it all along. And i always will do. What i have now had never been lost, just “hidden” by my mind, my mind the obstacle between me & Me.

People who seem to have lost this haven’t. My dad, ‘a lost soul’ in his words, is not a lost soul. He has simply forgotten who he really is. He has been running away from the Pain instead of embracing it to overcome. We must face our fears. We must go where the fear is. I am going to have to jump off a building, sit in a room full of snakes, dive with sharks, and let big furry spiders walk all over me. Not looking forward to it, i tell you. But my mind used to tell me ‘no, i can’t do that’, and now I tell my mind ‘shut up, of course I can ! And I WILL !’.
Stoopid mind, that thang don’t know shit, dontchano. Shut up & eat ya beans. Hmm the bears & the squirrels…

When i think of what would make me happiest right now, i see my brother’s face at the place i was on saturday, with traces of tears down his face, red eyes, and a MASSIVE SIGH of RELIEF written all over his face, Happiness and Gratefulness gushing out of his every pore. He hugs me and i hug him back, he is so grateful he came & did it, i tell him ‘You did it all by yourself, brother. You did it all by yourself, i didn’t do shit.’ ‘We’ve started to fix Mum, we’ve fixed you, now let’s see if we can convince Dad somehow’, i add. He needs a few days to process it all but he is a New Him and he knows it, it is obvious to all around, as it is obvious about the other people there. Everyone has the same look of relief mixed with Gratefulness and happiness on their face : The Experience begins Here Now. We are Alive for what seems like the first time. I look at my hands & arm and it seems new and Perfect in itself, a feeling of Inspiration to Live and incredible Optimism flows through me, i now know in the deepest of my being that the doors of my Being have been unlocked. I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.

Love and be loved. Be True to Yourself. That is the Only Way.
We are here to be the Best Ourselves we possibly can. That means never letting our mind drift us away from what we Truly Are.


Below you will find :

  • My views just before doing it.
  • A long detailed account…that will give you absolutely no idea what this Experience is like.
  • A short version with much less info
  • A 2 minute summary
  • Various updates along the way. Today, day three, started off amazing, with closed-ey visuals, a Great FEELING flowing through my whole body, and a fantastic optimism.

Just before : (here for the record, but you can skip this one)

Detailed account :

Short version :

Two minute summary :

Day 3 update :

Q&A : Mr Mindset podcast with YannWithAyahuasca

Some people are achievers and you can see it right away, by the way they stand, by how fit they are, and sometimes by how well they are trading through the waters of financial life.
Ondrej Maly, aka ‘Mr Mindset’, is one such character.

He was a client of mine, just over a year ago, came several times, then got a bit lost in it, and then came out of it seemingly a lot clearer. He has a growing following, understandably.

A few weeks back, he came to my small flat for what will hopefully just part 1 of a Q&A for his podcast, Mr Mindset.
You can listen for free below while you get on with your day.

We cover some of the basics about Bufo Alvarius & 5-MeO-DMT, its synthetic counterpart.

Click the link below to be taken straight to the Questions & Answers & hear me chat with Mr Mindset.

The ‘Who Am I?’ retreat in Europe

This interview is fresh from today and discusses all sorts of things, from the contents of our upcoming 5 day retreat to the meaning of life, and how i started this work & what it means to me.

Interview with podcaster Katerina Andelova, in English.

Our retreats get great feedback, but this next one takes things one step further.
We’re adding Constellations. If you don’t know what that is, please feel free to contact me via the contact page, or look up ‘family constellations’. I’ll be making a video on that & some other things that may interest you, so be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel so you get notified of my new vids.

And if you’d like to get an idea of what our retreats are like, check out this short video, that captures the great atmosphere (English subtitles are available, just select them) :

Feel free to ask me any questions at all, via the contact page.

And to sign up for our retreat, simply follow this link :

Maybe see you there! 😉

All the best 🙂


Yes, these thoughts have occured to me often.

We can keep diggin into the small, and we can keep diggin out into the big.

The similarities are just too big. There are very clear patterns. Lungs, trees & their roots, galaxies, eyes, etc.

Do cells in our body suspect they are inside a living body? Does an ant on an elephant’s back know he is walking on a living “floor”? Do humans know they are walking on a living planet? Inside a living universe?

We tend to think that things stop at us. We are the smartest intelligent life-form and so on. And little by little we realize that ourangatans can solve some problems quicker than humans can. And that plants have 3 times more genes than we do, and maybe a whole lot more awareness, and that crowes know what they know, and that dolphins can manage telepathy…

Maybe all beings think they are “at the top”.

Looking for ‘intelligent life’ may be looking for the same thing twice : if it’s alive it’s intelligent, and if it’s intelligent it’s alive…?

‘Who am I?’ – The Retreat

The following video is in Czech & English, i hope to have a version with English subtitles for you soon, follow this blog & my YouTube channel for notifications. For more information on the retreat, use the email in the video.

Our latest retreat was in July 2020 and was overbooked. It was also, i promise, way more of a success than i thought it would be. 😉

Let me explain : we had several new elements/activities to our program, and i was concerned we couldn’t pull it off. We did, and the feedback during the closing circle was 100% positive, everyone was very pleased with their stay & their experience.

Even if you don’t speak the language, the video will give you an idea of what to expect.

The next retreat will be from September 2nd to 6th 2020, in South Bohemia, Czech Republic. There are cheap flights to Prague from all over Europe. And from Prague car-pooling can be arranged with other clients attending.

We have approximately 20 spots available, for a staff of 8 !

The food is 100% healthy & vegan, very tasty, and will not leave you wanting anything more. 🙂

For details & pricing, please use the email in the video. Beware that last time we were overbooked so i recommend you do not delay if you are interested.

Who is this for?
– Anyone who wants to find out who they are.
– Anyone with addictions or depression but not taking SSRIs.
– Anyone wanting to re-connect with themselves and find their purpose in life.
– Anyone curious about connecting to ‘The Source’ and feeling more, or wanting more gratitude in their life.

The retreat will be preceded by an introduction call, and followed by an integration call.


You probably have this problem too, but you don’t know it

Luckily, it’s a 3 minute fix.

Unfortunately, it involves being fingered rectally by a stranger. And it hurts.

But, what can i tell you? It’s worth it. 😉


3 hours of De-armouring – almost like Bufo Alvarius?


With all that armour, i never stood a chance
What is De-armouring?
Don’t quote me on this, but here is my take on it. Our body stores emotions & traumas, tension. The practitioner presses somewhere on your body, you tell him/her when it hurts but not too much, you need to be able to “relax into the pain”. And then you breathe. You can also make sounds as you exhale…the vibrations from your voice will resonate through your body & it supposedly helps.
As you breathe, the tension reduces and the pain will eventually fade or disappear too. That’s the idea. So it makes sense that pressing a given part triggered a certain emotion, while another spot triggered something else.
* * *
I was recently gifted a massage table by 2 dear friends, and so i’ve decided to take up Reiki & massage again.
My learning technique for massage is simple : i find professional masseuses and offer them a free massage or an exchange, and ask for their honest feedback.
I recently did this with 2 lady friends and both were delighted. 🙂
I had already done this a while back in Mexico with 4 different professionals.
Yesterday, the deal was that i would receive 1 hour of De-armouring and return the favor with 2 hours of massage. Well, my De-armouring turned into THREE HOURS and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.
The combination of Pavlina‘s very gentle, pure feminine energy & touch with the power & intensity of the process were amazing. Trust & power working together towards postitive transformation & healing.
I experienced multiple emotions, with certain parts of my body triggering different emotional states, from self-love to crying from the pain of attachment through anger, amongst others. At one point, i reacted to the situation with my girlfriend/ex (we’re having a few issues…) and i thought ‘HOW DARE YOU NOT LOVE ME?! HOW DARE YOU NOT WANT ME!?’, haha!
Soon after, i said to her ‘I love you, but i love me more’. That felt nice, as if i had finally found a new foundation in me i could rely on to get me through this kind of emotional storm.
Today, i knew i would never again let her treat me like half a boyfriend. She is my ex or my future, but right now i am not hers, i am mine.
At one point my arms & hands were vibrating like on Ayahuasca or Bufo, it was suprisingly intense. At several moments, i had to express the awe : ‘Wow, fuck me, that’s intense!’.
Today, i feel much more serene, more embodied in the masculine, less attached to my ex, whom i have been in a very weird relationship with for 2-3 months now. Just a few days ago i was crying a lot, purposely, to get it out. Now, even though i know there is still some more crying to do, i feel like i am in a different body, with a different set of reactions.
It has helped me realize many things about my gf/ex too, surprisingly enough.
During the session, at first, the intensely feminine touch from Pavlina, even just a haphazard brushing of my leg with her hand, triggered a motion to cry (i withheld it, but wanted to). I realised with just a one-second touch how much i have missed that feminine touch and how throughout my past relationship, i have not been receiving this, or not enough.
Today, i went to register for Taiji, a martial art derived from Qi Gong, a health orientated practice. I feel very strongly that i need this.
De-armouring can benefit women in the same way it is benefitting me : it can help them to trust their feminine again enough to surrender to it, and subsequently to surrender to their man while they step out of the masculine to be embraced.
My next session may go a step further into the world of De-armouring, with a touch of internal ‘mapping’. Yes, that’s through the only opening i have down there. Women can have vaginal mapping too. Us guys don’t have much choice. Apparently it can be very healing too. And i’m open to healing, especially now that i’ve had a proper taste of the power of De-armouring. So we’ll see. I’m quite curious to see what will come out of it, and no, i don’t mean that literally. 😉
A tantric massage is also a possibility, so we’ll see how it all goes. Yesterday’s session was so powerful that Pavlina has all my trust now, and i feel i can surrender to her. I did yesterday already, especially when i let myself cry, which took some effort on my part.
And as strange as it may sound, i feel all the more masculine today and all the more attracted to the divine feminine energy, even though i surrendered to a woman (actually it was more like surrendering to the process, to the feelings, and this work could have been done by a woman with a man, of course).
I feel the feminine energy as a perfect match for me, and i am like a dried sponge deprived of vital water, in need of this feminine touch, this feminine presence…feminine trust & surrender.
The practitioner i am talking about is Pavlina Stankova and if you click that link you will find her on Facebook. If the link dies, drop a comment or send me an email and i will put you in touch with her. She works in Prague, Czech Republic.
I have known her for years, and i highly recommend her. She is gentle, caring, professional and experienced : she really knows what she is doing.

How to prepare for the Bufo Alvarius experience

In this video in English, you will find tips & suggestions from me, an experienced facilitator, on how to prepare for your Bufo Alvarius experience. How to prepare, practically, but also how to approach it from mindful perspective.

If you have any questions, please feel free to either post them below in the comments, here on this blog, or on the video page, or by emailing me through the Contact page on this blog.

I try to answer all questions, but please bear with me as i am not always able to do so immediately. Thanks for your patience. 😉

All the best,



Our next 5 day retreat is here :-)

Because of the situation with the so-called virus etc, we had to cancel our April retreat. But i am pleased to say it is back! 🙂 And we now have not only the dates but the programme.

You can enquire with us at froglove [at] for more info, in English, Czech, Spanish or French. 😉

It will be from July 1st to July 5th, and will include many things, some of which will be :
– Kambo
– De-armouring workshop
– Musicotherapy
– Body poetry
– Yoga
– Guided meditations
– Delicious & healthy vegan food, made with passion & love 🙂
– Bufo

Our retreats in the past have received extremely favorable reviews from participants, several of whom have returned once or even several times. This is our 3rd year running, and our longest retreat to date !

We design these retreats as we would want them to be for us, were we the clients, and so far it has been working well. 🙂
You will have plenty to keep you busy, and yet plenty of space & time to yourself for integration of each experience.

It is located about 90 mins from Prague, in the Czech Republic. Prague is easily accessible via cheap short flights from anywhere in Europe, and flights are already taking place to & from various countries, because the Czech Republic did extremely well during this ‘crisis’.

Car pooling from Prague to the retreat center is possible. We often have people flying in from abroad to attend our events, even for 1h events !
The last Bufo session i did in Bratislava originally had people planning to come in from 4 different countries, for just over 1 hour of session time each.

We are confident that our retreats are now amongst the best in Europe, are very competitively priced, and provide a truly beneficial & transformation experience.

For more information, email us at the address above, or through the contact page on this blog.

We currently have 20 slots, 11 of which have been booked & confirmed, and we already have 2 or 3 more people enquiring as i write these lines, so i would say that slots will disappear fast. Don’t delay if you are interested in attending.

Hoping to see you there!
All the best,


Râpé for rookies

If you know the answer to the below questions then don’t waste your time, this article & its accompanying videos are not for you. 🙂

What is râpé ?
How do you use it ?

Below you will find two videos for rookies, made by a rookie, telling you & showing you what this medicina is and how to use it.
I even filmed a whole ceremony i did for myself this morning (feel free to speed it up or fast-forward, there are bits where i am processing / crying and not talking).

I’m going through a rough period with my partner and it came up during my process, as you can see.
So if it disturbs you to see a man cry then avoid the second video. 😉
I have plenty more work to do on myself, and recent events have been forcing to me evolve & adapt, to grow a bit too, hopefully.

Râpé is a true ‘medecine’, powerful, and not to be taken lightly. It can knock you out for hours, make you throw up, make you travel to other spaces, vibrate, connect you with your higher Self, and so on.
So start lightly, with soft râpé, in small amounts, and NEVER abuse it. Do NOT get addicted to it, treat it with respect, and by that i mean take it when you feel a true calling from within your heart. When you know you need to work with it.

There are thousands of types of râpé, mostly from Brazil, but also from other Amazonian areas. It is, as far as i understand, usually made from Mapacho (black tobacco) and ashes of plants/trees. Every râpé has its purpose. Some are designed to make you purge, in preparation for another medecine, such as Ayahuasca, maybe, while others may be intended to open the heart. I am by no means a specialist, my experience with goes back about 4 years and a few dozen applications, some in Mexico, some in Europe, and most of my experience has been acquired here in the past few weeks, through almost daily work and self-application.

It has helped me gain many insights, i think. For a minute or two, it usually connects me to my higher Self, where answers reside or where they stem from.

Focus on your breathing, calm the mind, avoid trying to understand / figure things out and breathe, let your higher Self, this awareness, this consciousness provide you with the answers…and you shall feel them. It’s never about understanding with these things, always about feeling. Remember that on your journey with these medicines : breathe, relax, and start over. You’ll be fine. 😉

Finally, a word about my process in the second video, the full “self ceremony”.
You can see me crying because i feel i am losing my partner, whom i love with all my heart, and i do. There are only two things i know: i love her with all my heart, and i don’t know how to resolve the current issues we are facing as a couple. Or were facing, for i see no solution, precisely, so i am now focusing on moving on.
The fact is there is nothing that needs resolving by me for us. I have work to do, evolutions to make in my daily life, habits to break, new habits to create, new perspectives to gain and old ones to let go of…and so does she. We got to this situation together, it was perfectly mutually created. All i need to do is love myself more, love her without the pain of attachment & loss, and live my life as best i can. Whether that will include her or not, i don’t know. I know only that i shall most likely always love her in a very deep way. She is the only woman i have ever been with for more than a day that i feel i love completely.
However, i know i can love other women completely too, and the stalemate situation we are in needs to end. It will very soon, and that actually brings me relief and optimism. 🙂  Sure, i will do a lot more crying & feel a lot more pain than i suspect right now, but on the other side of that i will be better off. Out of a decaying relationship that has no room for change, into the open. Into the wild. 😉

I hope these videos are useful to you in some way. Don’t forget to subscribe to the blog & also the video channel, and encourage me with a kind comment or a like if you feel like it. 😉 It’s always nice to receive this. 🙂

Thank you, and be you, shine. Love. Embrace. Feel. 🙂
All the best,

Video 1 : what is râpé and how to apply it.


Video 2 : full self ceremony with râpé, and live descriptions of what i am feeling, plus my own personal process this morning.



I am enough. You are enough.

With or without you. With or without them.

And fuck everything else.

There you have it: today’s spark of wisdom. 😉

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