Don’t quote me on this, but here is my take on it. Our body stores emotions & traumas, tension. The practitioner presses somewhere on your body, you tell him/her when it hurts but not too much, you need to be able to “relax into the pain”. And then you breathe. You can also make sounds as you exhale…the vibrations from your voice will resonate through your body & it supposedly helps. As you breathe, the tension reduces and the pain will eventually fade or disappear too. That’s the idea. So it makes sense that pressing a given part triggered a certain emotion, while another spot triggered something else.
* * *
I was recently gifted a massage table by 2 dear friends, and so i’ve decided to take up Reiki & massage again.
My learning technique for massage is simple : i find professional masseuses and offer them a free massage or an exchange, and ask for their honest feedback. I recently did this with 2 lady friends and both were delighted. 🙂 I had already done this a while back in Mexico with 4 different professionals.
Yesterday, the deal was that i would receive 1 hour of De-armouring and return the favor with 2 hours of massage. Well, my De-armouring turned into THREE HOURS and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.
The combination of Pavlina‘s very gentle, pure feminine energy & touch with the power & intensity of the process were amazing. Trust & power working together towards postitive transformation & healing.
I experienced multiple emotions, with certain parts of my body triggering different emotional states, from self-love to crying from the pain of attachment through anger, amongst others. At one point, i reacted to the situation with my girlfriend/ex (we’re having a few issues…) and i thought ‘HOW DARE YOU NOT LOVE ME?! HOW DARE YOU NOT WANT ME!?’, haha! Soon after, i said to her ‘I love you, but i love me more’. That felt nice, as if i had finally found a new foundation in me i could rely on to get me through this kind of emotional storm. Today, i knew i would never again let her treat me like half a boyfriend. She is my ex or my future, but right now i am not hers, i am mine.
At one point my arms & hands were vibrating like on Ayahuasca or Bufo, it was suprisingly intense. At several moments, i had to express the awe : ‘Wow, fuck me, that’s intense!’.
Today, i feel much more serene, more embodied in the masculine, less attached to my ex, whom i have been in a very weird relationship with for 2-3 months now. Just a few days ago i was crying a lot, purposely, to get it out. Now, even though i know there is still some more crying to do, i feel like i am in a different body, with a different set of reactions.
It has helped me realize many things about my gf/ex too, surprisingly enough.
During the session, at first, the intensely feminine touch from Pavlina, even just a haphazard brushing of my leg with her hand, triggered a motion to cry (i withheld it, but wanted to). I realised with just a one-second touch how much i have missed that feminine touch and how throughout my past relationship, i have not been receiving this, or not enough.
Today, i went to register for Taiji, a martial art derived from Qi Gong, a health orientated practice. I feel very strongly that i need this.
De-armouring can benefit women in the same way it is benefitting me : it can help them to trust their feminine again enough to surrender to it, and subsequently to surrender to their man while they step out of the masculine to be embraced.
My next session may go a step further into the world of De-armouring, with a touch of internal ‘mapping’. Yes, that’s through the only opening i have down there. Women can have vaginal mapping too. Us guys don’t have much choice. Apparently it can be very healing too. And i’m open to healing, especially now that i’ve had a proper taste of the power of De-armouring. So we’ll see. I’m quite curious to see what will come out of it, and no, i don’t mean that literally. 😉
A tantric massage is also a possibility, so we’ll see how it all goes. Yesterday’s session was so powerful that Pavlina has all my trust now, and i feel i can surrender to her. I did yesterday already, especially when i let myself cry, which took some effort on my part.
And as strange as it may sound, i feel all the more masculine today and all the more attracted to the divine feminine energy, even though i surrendered to a woman (actually it was more like surrendering to the process, to the feelings, and this work could have been done by a woman with a man, of course).
I feel the feminine energy as a perfect match for me, and i am like a dried sponge deprived of vital water, in need of this feminine touch, this feminine presence…feminine trust & surrender.
The practitioner i am talking about is Pavlina Stankova and if you click that link you will find her on Facebook. If the link dies, drop a comment or send me an email and i will put you in touch with her. She works in Prague, Czech Republic. I have known her for years, and i highly recommend her. She is gentle, caring, professional and experienced : she really knows what she is doing.
I get asked a lot of things about Bufo Alvarius, and also about other things such as Ayahuasca, or healing in general.
And i have noticed that
a) there is a lot of misunderstanding out there about these things
b) my answers seem to help most of the time.
So…i am going to be taking all of your questions about these things, and about Bufo in particular.
Once i have your questions, i will then make one very short video per question, with my reply. This way, people shall be able to find these questions and answers easily on YouTube etc., hopefully helping people and informing them better. Of course, i am not omniscient or perfect, so if you feel i have replied with incorrect information, please be sure to let me know.
You may post your questions here, in the comments, or send them to me on Facebook, or here in the contact section (email). I will preserve your anonymity, naturally, unless you specify that you want your name published.
Thank you in advance! Yann
P.S. If you like my content, please support me by subscribing to my blog here and to my YouTube channel.
Wow, i can’t believe it has already been this long!
I first took Ayahuasca in June 2014, it is now August 2018, and everything is changing, more & more quickly!
The list of changes is probably longer now than what hasn’t changed. From health & fitness to self confidence through a complete change of jobs…i hardly know where to start.
I shall upload longer more detailed versions but, for now, here is the very short version : FOUR YEARS IN FOUR MINUTES.
Llegar con expectativas ya es un problema. Una mente demasiada activa puede ser obstáculo al soltar. La experiencia de la medicina es una meditación muy exitosa, con ayuda, nada mas. Cuando meditas te la pasas pensando y pensando, y preguntando si tu meditación debería ser como la de tu vecino ? Entonces ? Porque lo haces con las medicinas ?
[UPDATE 2019 : one of my clients just brought this old article to my attention. I was warning him about the dangers of this mix. So i’ve amended the title and i’m adding in this warning.
It also comes as a reminder of what this blog is : a diary of my experiences and experiments, some of which have been mistakes. This is a prime example of a mistake, which could have been deadly. Indeed, this mix, in this precise order, can allegedly cause an excess of serotonin, known as serotonin poisoning, something that can leave you depressed for life or even dead. This link here provides a few articles about this.
Some people, usually facilitators offering this mix, will assure you it is safe. My advice? Do not take the risk. There is no need to take that risk. There is no need to mix, and especially not in that order. Either of these ancient medicines are potent enough as they are, give them the time & space they require, work with them.
I apologize if my article or video had misled you in any way.
You may, however, take Bufo first, and then, after a strict minimum of 2 hours, take Ayahuasca. I would recommend you wait longer, 1 or 2 days at least, and that you use a light dose of Ayahuasca. A better mix is a good Changa (‘Xanga’) then Ayahuasca. Always be prudent, you are treading on thin ice with these things. Also bear in mind that Ayahuasca is strongly and dangerously incompatible with certain things…find out all about that before you put your life at risk. ]
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Original article :
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About 10 days ago i had THE strongest experience of my life on entheogens (or anything else, i guess!) and it’s taken me this long to kind of come off it! I can still feel it a bit.
First i took a very strong creamy Ayahuasca, and the following day i smoked Bufo Alvarius. WOW. Just freakin WOW. My experience lasted 1 hour to 1h30, which is a fair bit when you know it can last as little as a minute.
Can you ‘bad trip’ on Bufo Alvarius / Sapito / Toad ?
And what is best to get out of depression : Ayahuasca or Bufo Alvarius ?
It strokes my ego to receive questions from people so keep ’em coming! 😉
This was a question from a YouTube subscriber and it’s a really good one.
More seriously, though, i like getting questions because i like the idea of helping people : it FEELS GOOD. My gut tells me ‘DO MORE! DO MORE!’. So i feel more & more happy because these videos and articles are helping more & more people. Thank YOU for deciding to help yourself! For THAT is the key! Not me, really, let’s face it. As much as i’d love to be the cure and some sort of guru, i’m just a twat who’s been lucky enough to want to get better. 🙂
Love to all. Yes, even the loveless, you too.
Hug.
Here i offer some alternatives and a suggestion. Certainly one of the best experiences of my life.
If you are interested in a great, safe and cheap retreat in Peru then sign up for more information here or in the pop-up if you see it. I already have 3 or 4 people so we just need a few more to make this happen! 🙂
Une tasse de thé dégueu pour explorer votre inconscient, ça vous dit ?
Vous avez l’intention de mettre fin à votre dépression chronique ? Vous voulez vous débarasser de vos angoisses ? Apprécier plus la vie ? Surmonter vos peurs les plus profondes ?
Si prétendre connaître l’Ayahuasca me semble chose impossible — vous n’êtes pas au bout de vos surprises — on peut dire que nos expériences en sa compagnie valent toujours très largement le coût.
A vous de le vouloir, c’est tout. Le potentiel de cette médecine dépend de vous. Vous avez une mentalité de victime ? Passez votre chemin !
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