Yann with Ayahuasca

A week before this bewildering dream, that woke me up in huge stress & big sadness, i had to get out of an extremely painful relationship that was just eating me away. That likely affected this dream, as i was in a wild emotional roller-coaster, crying almost every day for 3 weeks, not eating anywhere enough for about 10 days, and so on. I was having huge difficulty sleeping, waking up anxious several times per night, and waking up feeling horrible every morning as standard. I was also quite sad about not seeing the kids anymore. It’s been 2 months as i write this description, and i think hardly a day has gone by when i didn’t think of them. Every time they bring a smile to my face. 🙂
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Lara (referred to as ‘Larinka’ here), in this dream, is 3 years old. She is my ex’s daughter, and she is the cutest loveliest little bundle of consciousness i have seen in many years! 😀

In this dream, placed in the Amazon maybe, things get rather worrying & scary, however, as two heavily-armed mercenaries come to kidnap Larinka & to kill everyone else.

My brother, here, appears with the calm of a professional soldier, and while i was courageous enough here i wasn’t able to kill a man without getting into shock.

The mission was simple : get Lara to safety. The moment that happened, we were either going to live or die, but it didn’t matter to us, the mission had been accomplished by that point.

We’d either manage to kill these 2 hostile mercenaries, or they would kill all of us, but we were calm about the outcome, the only worry we had had was saving Larinka. Once i knew she had been evacuated, i was at peace with the outcome.

Little Lara was clearly of some major importance in this story. Her mother & brother were absent from this dream, i felt like they were either very far away or possibly already no longer with us, and Lara was a survivor of some previous attempt, and we were just trying to protect her. They had found our hiding place, we were disposable to them, but Lara was to be taken alive and brought to whomever hired them.

I eventually managed to kill one of the assailants, very efficiently, by shooting him in the neck from above, with a 3-bullet burst from an automatic pistol, but i was then shaking & in too much shock to be of any use with the second guy, who was heavily armed and coming up the stairs next to kill all of us who were hiding on the last floor of this wooden house by this south American jungle river.

I was no longer operational, shaking too much, heart rate out of control, paralyzed, and had no choice than to leave the second guy to my brother, who was totally calm, just waiting for the guy to come so he could shoot him, like someone who has been thoroughly trained & likely seen this many times before. My feeling was that he would manage to get the other guy…but all of this was too much for me, and that’s when i woke up, shaking, with my heart racing, and with immense sadness.
As soon as i woke up, i started crying very intensely. I think that was the first time i woke up with such sadness that i needed to continue crying, even after awaking.

And that’s where the video begins : i tell it as fresh as i could, and you can see that i have to contain the emotion & breathe through it several times during the telling of this story. It was highly emotional for me.