The ‘Who Am I?’ retreat in Europe

This interview is fresh from today and discusses all sorts of things, from the contents of our upcoming 5 day retreat to the meaning of life, and how i started this work & what it means to me.

Interview with podcaster Katerina Andelova, in English.

Our retreats get great feedback, but this next one takes things one step further.
We’re adding Constellations. If you don’t know what that is, please feel free to contact me via the contact page, or look up ‘family constellations’. I’ll be making a video on that & some other things that may interest you, so be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel so you get notified of my new vids.

And if you’d like to get an idea of what our retreats are like, check out this short video, that captures the great atmosphere (English subtitles are available, just select them) :

Feel free to ask me any questions at all, via the contact page.

And to sign up for our retreat, simply follow this link :

Maybe see you there! 😉

All the best 🙂

New scientific study says 5-MeO-DMT enhances well-being

A big thank you to all of you who kindly accepted to participate in this scientific study! 🙏🏻💚🐸

And 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 to M. for this massive piece of work. 🙏🏻😌💚

This study was done partly with data collected at our sessions, with our clients, both prior to their experience and after it. 😎👍🏻


And here is an update, in the form of a statement by the author of the study, due to articles such as this one being a bit too simplistic and misleading, it seems :

Questions to a Bufo facilitator (send in a question!)

I get asked a lot of things about Bufo Alvarius, and also about other things such as Ayahuasca, or healing in general.

And i have noticed that
a) there is a lot of misunderstanding out there about these things
b) my answers seem to help most of the time.

So…i am going to be taking all of your questions about these things, and about Bufo in particular.

Once i have your questions, i will then make one very short video per question, with my reply. This way, people shall be able to find these questions and answers easily on YouTube etc., hopefully helping people and informing them better. Of course, i am not omniscient or perfect, so if you feel i have replied with incorrect information, please be sure to let me know.

You may post your questions here, in the comments, or send them to me on Facebook, or here in the contact section (email). I will preserve your anonymity, naturally, unless you specify that you want your name published.

Thank you in advance!

P.S. If you like my content, please support me by subscribing to my blog here and to my YouTube channel.


How to smoke Bufo Alvarius / Sapito / Toad Medicine

A viewer on my YouTube channel asked me how to smoke Bufo Alvarius / Sapito / Toad Medicine because he was having no luck. It can be tricky, indeed.

NEVER do it alone. You need someone experienced with you, ie someone who has seen all sorts of behaviour under ‘Toad’ and who can anticipate problems so that they never occur. There is a risk of death if you do it alone.

DISCLAIMER: Never do anything illegal, ever. Everything i do or say is provided merely for educational purposes, you are the only one responsible for your actions. Never smoke anything. Understood?


Can you ‘bad trip’ on Bufo Alvarius / Sapito / Toad ?

Can you ‘bad trip’ on Bufo Alvarius / Sapito / Toad ?
And what is best to get out of depression : Ayahuasca or Bufo Alvarius ?

It strokes my ego to receive questions from people so keep ’em coming! 😉
This was a question from a YouTube subscriber and it’s a really good one.
More seriously, though, i like getting questions because i like the idea of helping people : it FEELS GOOD. My gut tells me ‘DO MORE! DO MORE!’. So i feel more & more happy because these videos and articles are helping more & more people. Thank YOU for deciding to help yourself! For THAT is the key! Not me, really, let’s face it. As much as i’d love to be the cure and some sort of guru, i’m just a twat who’s been lucky enough to want to get better. 🙂

Love to all. Yes, even the loveless, you too.



Qu’est-ce-que le Bufo Alvarius ?

Il s’agit d’un crapeau aux qualités uniques…et l’expérience qui découle de la combustion de son venin séché sera sans aucun doute l’expérience la plus merveilleuse que vous aurez l’occasion de vivre. Aussi indescriptible que de décrire la vie à quelqu’un qui n’a jamais vécu.
Vous manquez d’envie de vivre ? Vous manquez de gratitude envers la vie, l’existence ? Vous avez envie de renaître et de connaître votre origine ?


Bufo Alvarius vs Ayahuasca

I was asked in a comment on my YouTube channel to make a video about the difference between Bufo Alvarius and Ayahuasca.

I forgot to mention something very important in the video : Ayahuasca requires thorough and lengthy preparation and also has many contra indications, Bufo Alvarius does not have so many (keep off anti-depressants, though). Intention, however, is still required and/or recommended.

May you be well !

Long version (for shorter version scroll down) :

Short version :

The Experience you are here for : YOU | Bufo Alvarius

Bufo Alvarius

Bufo Alvarius

Imagine someone who has never eaten.
Who has never breathed.
Who has never drank.
Who has never touched water, who has never swam.
Who has never felt the wind, gravity, heat or cold.
Who has never had a body.
Who has never lived.

But YOU have, and your mission is this : to tell this person what all of those things FEEL like…in WORDS.

That is my mission today if you have not yet lived & FELT this unbelievable inconceivable unimaginable Experience that is…hm…the DMT that’s already in you all the time. And i don’t just mean Bufo Alvarius’ 5-meo-DMT, ‘the most potent entheogen on the planet’ according to Terrence McKenna, King of the Psychonauts. I mean Life too. The Experience, mindblowing mindblowing mindblowing, puts you face to face with THE only Truth : YOUR Truth. It removes the complete & utter illusion of the mind, that crazy thing/hamster wheel that has convinced you to not be You. It has distracted You from the Love, it has smothered you in judgement, it convinces you to self-harm & harm others, it connives with the ego to produce sarcasm, drifting you away from the what you were when you arrived here, in The Experience. The Bufo Alvarius Experience does not remove you from The Experience Life, it is the complete opposite. [Dark Side of the Moon playing in the background.] It blows your mind away, quite and absolutely literally, it puts your mind aside to Reunite you with You. Immediately, fully. No escapely. No lies-ly. Truth-Fully.

ONE inhalation, the most important one you will take right after the first you ever did, is all you need to Reunite the sad ungrateful miserable mind-bamboozled shadow-you with The Loving Happy Judgement-free Enthusiastic Life-Hungry Grateful Experience-Loving You.

You want peace & calm ? You want to be free of all the noise in your head ? You want to be free of all the self-sabotage & wasting away ? You want to be free of all that paining judgement ? DO YOU ?

There was a yann before and there is a Yann now. WATCH ME FLY, BITCH ! I AM FREE ! YOU HEAR ME ?!? I AM FRRREEEEEEEEE !!!!
HAHAHA ! And it feels SO FUCKING GOOD. 🙂 🙂 🙂
I soooo SOOOOO MISSED that, you have NO IDEA, MAN.

It is now day 3 and it is still with me at moments. When i am in flow with myself, i feel, FEEL in all my body the great warm energy-light-whatever it is, dunny matter, it feels GRRREAT. I am alive like i cannot recall having ever been. And yet i am sure that i have felt this before. When i was new to this world. When my mind hadn’t filled my head with its lies. I am not my mind. ‘It’s not me, it’s just my mind’ [I Want To Tell You — George Harrison, on Revolver]. I am not judgement. Judgement exists nowhere but in my mind. I am not judgement. That is not Me. I Am Better than that!!! I AM FRRRREEEEEEEEE MOTHERFUUUUUCCCKKKKEEEEERRRRRR HAHAHAHAAAAA !!!! AIN’T NOTHING GONNA STOP ME NOW !!! HAHAHAHAAAAA !!!!!! It WAS ALL INSIDE MY MIND, MAN !!!

I am not fear. That is not me. I am Love. I am fearless. I am Free of judgement. I am Gratefulness. I am LOVE.

I’ll still kick you in the knackers if you bother me, though. Yeah, just thought i’d clear that up. 😉
But mostly it has been my mind bothering me. Now i seem to control it instead of my mind controlling me ! And it FEELS FANTASTIC, MAN !!

Yeah, the ‘MAN’ bit sounds very stereotypic of the Hollywood high junkie, yeah i know, but…you don’t have to care about that. I don’t. It’s just me, and i YELL it out like there is no tomorrow. Guess what ! There isn’t ! There IS no tomorrow, or yesterday, there is only NOW. Right NOW is all there is and that is so clear to me now, oh my god what a RELIEF !!!
Don’t get me wrong, i still worry about things, yes i do worry about my beloved brother, i love him so much, and he, for some reason, chooses still to refuse this Freedom, this Liberation, to himself. I have much trouble understanding why. Is it because i had to leave years ago and he still somehow thinks he has to reject anything from me in order to avoid pain ? Or is it because his mind continues to be in charge and is sabotaging him, like we almost always have ? Our dad & mother both sabotage, although Mum now does it less (Kambo & Ayahuasca), but that has been our environment. I think i might still do it without realizing, but since Saturday 5 December 2015 (my new birthday ?) it feels like my mind is much less in charge. I am aware of some of its tricks. No i am not too tired to go to the gym, FFS ! You don’t fool me ! That is NOT Me, I Am Better than that ! So i went. For hours. This morning i woke up with sore muscles, but somehow almost grateful i could feel them.
On Saturday night i discovered i could “enjoy” cold for what it is : a sensation. It’s part of The Experience. It’s why i am here : to feel, to learn, to learn through Feeling and Experiencing.

My mind cannot teach me anything. My mind has no Truthful source, it cannot teach me anything. ‘The more I learn, the less I know’ [It’s All Too Much – George Harrison, on Yellow Submarine]. My mind can only do one thing : tell me about the illusions it perceives. Not ONE single thing going on in my mind is True. All sounds crazy, eh ? Well, You know what you needs to do, no matter what your mind is telling you right now. Deep down in your heart, you, in all probability, feel in your heart that you are not enjoying life to the full, that you are not living your potential to the max, that you are not as happy and grateful for life and you would like to be…what will be your next step ? More of the same ? Or will you choose to Be You Again, Happy, Peaceful & Calm, Grateful and Loving, Excited to Be here in The Experience ? Why on earth wouldn’t you ? Please leave your mind out of it, do yourself that favour, even if it’s the only one you ever do. Choosing lies over truth makes no sense, no matter who you are or what your mind thinks.

A thought of judgement has arisen. A thought of irritation has arisen. A thought about [fill in the blanks] has arisen. That is the ONLY objective thing to say about our thoughts. There is no Truth to them because they exist only in our minds.
My judgement was just in my mind, it never existed anywhere else. I am in charge, fully in charge, of my own Happiness. And now i have been shown that i had the keys to it all along. And i always will do. What i have now had never been lost, just “hidden” by my mind, my mind the obstacle between me & Me.

People who seem to have lost this haven’t. My dad, ‘a lost soul’ in his words, is not a lost soul. He has simply forgotten who he really is. He has been running away from the Pain instead of embracing it to overcome. We must face our fears. We must go where the fear is. I am going to have to jump off a building, sit in a room full of snakes, dive with sharks, and let big furry spiders walk all over me. Not looking forward to it, i tell you. But my mind used to tell me ‘no, i can’t do that’, and now I tell my mind ‘shut up, of course I can ! And I WILL !’.
Stoopid mind, that thang don’t know shit, dontchano. Shut up & eat ya beans. Hmm the bears & the squirrels…

When i think of what would make me happiest right now, i see my brother’s face at the place i was on saturday, with traces of tears down his face, red eyes, and a MASSIVE SIGH of RELIEF written all over his face, Happiness and Gratefulness gushing out of his every pore. He hugs me and i hug him back, he is so grateful he came & did it, i tell him ‘You did it all by yourself, brother. You did it all by yourself, i didn’t do shit.’ ‘We’ve started to fix Mum, we’ve fixed you, now let’s see if we can convince Dad somehow’, i add. He needs a few days to process it all but he is a New Him and he knows it, it is obvious to all around, as it is obvious about the other people there. Everyone has the same look of relief mixed with Gratefulness and happiness on their face : The Experience begins Here Now. We are Alive for what seems like the first time. I look at my hands & arm and it seems new and Perfect in itself, a feeling of Inspiration to Live and incredible Optimism flows through me, i now know in the deepest of my being that the doors of my Being have been unlocked. I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.

Love and be loved. Be True to Yourself. That is the Only Way.
We are here to be the Best Ourselves we possibly can. That means never letting our mind drift us away from what we Truly Are.


Below you will find :

  • My views just before doing it.
  • A long detailed account…that will give you absolutely no idea what this Experience is like.
  • A short version with much less info
  • A 2 minute summary
  • Various updates along the way. Today, day three, started off amazing, with closed-ey visuals, a Great FEELING flowing through my whole body, and a fantastic optimism.

Just before : (here for the record, but you can skip this one)

Detailed account :

Short version :

Two minute summary :

Day 3 update :