Yann with Ayahuasca

So here i am, having not bought LSD or anything illegal anywhere in the world, not cutting up LSD tabs into 8 and not microdosing it.
I did not take 1/8th of a tab at 10.35 am this morning and this is an account of me not doing any of those things.
First off, i don’t know if it really was not LSD 25 or if it was not 1P LSD, heck maybe it was not something else. I was simply told ‘this is not acid’. Already confusing.
I did not pay 150 units of imaginary currency (which translates into 7,50 in €) for it.
Apparently when you take LSD it takes 30-45 minutes to start to kick in. Much like shrooms then.

So here it is. Will i feel anything from not taking this stuff ? Is the non-LSD spread out evenly on the tiny tab or did the part i just did not ingest have more or less than 1/8th of the non-existent dose ? How much was the imaginary dose on this tab of non-acid anyway ? Geeez, so many questions…

10.35 am

1/8th of a tab of non-LSD.

10.45 am

Can’t say that i am feeling much, and were i feeling anything it might be a placebo / nocebo. Maybe more relaxed ?

10.50 am

Right, definitely seeing a walrus in clothes sitting at a piano singing, with pretty policemen doing a dance routine on a wall.
Just kidding : nothing.

I’m having (fresh) ginger (root) tea, very strong in the ginger department. Dunno if that’s a good or a bad thing, or maybe making me feel things too.

11.02 am

Doing my work-out routine now, just did 50 squats, going to do 50 more. Not sure if this can have any influence.

11.39 am

I am now onto ginger coffee with powdered Saigon cinnamon. Is that giving me a high ?
My brain doesn’t feel quite normal, as if there was some abnormal activity going on up there, right in its center. Could it be thinking ?? Maybe i’ve found a way to turn it on.

1.08 pm

Feeling some sort of very light inner ‘bone’…”euphoria” maybe ? Reminds me a bit of shrooms.

5 pm

Took some more, 2/8ths i think and cannot remember when [i’m writing this the next day] but i know i took one more 1/8th at some point, totally 4/8s in the day.

Around 8.30 pm

Went to the supermarket, stared at a sign for a minute and it started slowly moving. Felt overall pretty strange and driving was not something i was comfortable with.
Keeping focussed eyes was impossible, no matter what the distance.

Around 10.30 pm & next day

Went to bed. Slept pretty well till my alarm went off at 5.30 am. Maybe have got some closed eye visuals. At this time i took half a tab.

Next day 7 am

Need to sleep, set my timer for 90 mins, put on the Kelly Howell track #3 The secret to attracting wealth, which is designed for sleep, and i got plenty of very bright coloured closed-eye visuals, but very synthetic fluorescent colours. There was nothing fascinating about it. I don’t even know if this stuff is actual LSD, let’s keep that in mind.

Next day 11.30 am

I don’t like the feel of it so far. Feels unnatural, synthetic, like abnormal activity in the brain. Will surely take a full tab one day but really don’t feel like it. Maybe there is some point to microdosing this, whatever i have bought here, in 1/8s, because there seemed to be some extra drive, but quite frankly i’d rather manage to find that drive & maybe stamina through other means. I feel like i am closed to my emotions, to my pain, to my loneliness, and i feel like i need some Toad Medicine or some long deep Ayahuasca sessions, like in Peru.

I must stop spurting out my pain & frustration onto others, mostly my mother & brother, because that is just being a victim about victims. A dead-end. I am really frustrated with myself, my lack of actions, my procrastination, and i wonder to what extent these lines here are not exactly that. I NEED TO FOCUS, and STICK TO THAT FOCUS. I know i can do it, i just seems to have