LSD microdosing…NOT !

So here i am, having not bought LSD or anything illegal anywhere in the world, not cutting up LSD tabs into 8 and not microdosing it.
I did not take 1/8th of a tab at 10.35 am this morning and this is an account of me not doing any of those things.
First off, i don’t know if it really was not LSD 25 or if it was not 1P LSD, heck maybe it was not something else. I was simply told ‘this is not acid’. Already confusing.
I did not pay 150 units of imaginary currency (which translates into 7,50 in €) for it.
Apparently when you take LSD it takes 30-45 minutes to start to kick in. Much like shrooms then.

So here it is. Will i feel anything from not taking this stuff ? Is the non-LSD spread out evenly on the tiny tab or did the part i just did not ingest have more or less than 1/8th of the non-existent dose ? How much was the imaginary dose on this tab of non-acid anyway ? Geeez, so many questions…

10.35 am

1/8th of a tab of non-LSD.

10.45 am

Can’t say that i am feeling much, and were i feeling anything it might be a placebo / nocebo. Maybe more relaxed ?

10.50 am

Right, definitely seeing a walrus in clothes sitting at a piano singing, with pretty policemen doing a dance routine on a wall.
Just kidding : nothing.

I’m having (fresh) ginger (root) tea, very strong in the ginger department. Dunno if that’s a good or a bad thing, or maybe making me feel things too.

11.02 am

Doing my work-out routine now, just did 50 squats, going to do 50 more. Not sure if this can have any influence.

11.39 am

I am now onto ginger coffee with powdered Saigon cinnamon. Is that giving me a high ?
My brain doesn’t feel quite normal, as if there was some abnormal activity going on up there, right in its center. Could it be thinking ?? Maybe i’ve found a way to turn it on.

1.08 pm

Feeling some sort of very light inner ‘bone’…”euphoria” maybe ? Reminds me a bit of shrooms.

5 pm

Took some more, 2/8ths i think and cannot remember when [i’m writing this the next day] but i know i took one more 1/8th at some point, totally 4/8s in the day.

Around 8.30 pm

Went to the supermarket, stared at a sign for a minute and it started slowly moving. Felt overall pretty strange and driving was not something i was comfortable with.
Keeping focussed eyes was impossible, no matter what the distance.

Around 10.30 pm & next day

Went to bed. Slept pretty well till my alarm went off at 5.30 am. Maybe have got some closed eye visuals. At this time i took half a tab.

Next day 7 am

Need to sleep, set my timer for 90 mins, put on the Kelly Howell track #3 The secret to attracting wealth, which is designed for sleep, and i got plenty of very bright coloured closed-eye visuals, but very synthetic fluorescent colours. There was nothing fascinating about it. I don’t even know if this stuff is actual LSD, let’s keep that in mind.

Next day 11.30 am

I don’t like the feel of it so far. Feels unnatural, synthetic, like abnormal activity in the brain. Will surely take a full tab one day but really don’t feel like it. Maybe there is some point to microdosing this, whatever i have bought here, in 1/8s, because there seemed to be some extra drive, but quite frankly i’d rather manage to find that drive & maybe stamina through other means. I feel like i am closed to my emotions, to my pain, to my loneliness, and i feel like i need some Toad Medicine or some long deep Ayahuasca sessions, like in Peru.

I must stop spurting out my pain & frustration onto others, mostly my mother & brother, because that is just being a victim about victims. A dead-end. I am really frustrated with myself, my lack of actions, my procrastination, and i wonder to what extent these lines here are not exactly that. I NEED TO FOCUS, and STICK TO THAT FOCUS. I know i can do it, i just seems to have

 

My cry for help : how can i help my sabotaging family ?

‘I have morons on my team’. Ever see that film? I love that line. It’s from Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid, with Redford & Newman, late 60’s. Great movie with great actors.

Judgemental, eh ? I’m desperate.

Can you help ? I can’t.

Thank you.

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[Update 2016-05-19]
This was me being a victim about victims. Not very smart.
For the record, i took very small doses of acid on the day of this video. Not 100% sure what the substance is since i cannot verify it, however. Feels like coffee concentrated into the center of my brain. Seems to have highs & lows, feels unnatural, not like shrooms, more synthetic.
I have a lot of work. I need to stop hiding from my pain & loneliness. I need to stop wasting time, i must focus and stick to it. My brain needs rewiring, deeply.

Video

Does our mind control & create our reality ?

Dr Bruce Lipton produces a fascinating presentation from minute 1 right through to the very last second.
Just 5 or 10 mins in you can feel the breeze that is about to storm your mind. And then it just gets better & better.
So much in here that i will have to watch it again, for sure. And yet it is all so very clear & easy to understand.
Thanks, Mr Lipton, this is high-value life-changing insight.

Video

My 66 Day Challenge : to work out every day

On April 25th 2016 i decided to take up a self-suggested 66 day challenge to exercise every single day.
Here i will post “Vlog” updates – that’s video logs i think – now & then.
I am now on day 22, ie 33% through. How do i feel ? Have i lost weight ? Am i gaining muscle ?
What is my routine ?
My weight is stable, but…

Quick reminder : before May 10th 2014, which is when i first watched Dan Pena & Peter Sage and started running & eating better (and soon did Ayahuasca), i was 83 Kg. I am 68 Kg (2016-05-16).

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Vlog from April 28th (2016) – Day 4 :

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Vlog from May 16th – Day 22 :

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Vlog from June 14th – Day 53 :

Before and after photos will be posted on Day 66 right here. Subscribe to this blog and/or the YouTube channel for updates.

Video

Review of the Fender FC-100 guitar

It’s cheap, it’s made in Indonesia, it has nylon strings, a narrow neck and it’s easy to play. But is it worth it?

Coming soon : audio recordings with studio mics, and a conversion of this guitar into an electro-acoustic using a quality piezo pickup and high-end preamplifers.

Video

Two years in, what has changed ?

Two years & one day ago, everything started to change for me. It was like a shock. I was gobsmacked – for 3 days. Then i got up off my arse and ran. And lost weight. And felt overwhelmed with incompatible feelings and it felt wonderful. Thank you Peter Sage and Dan Pena for showing me it is possible to not be a victim, i had no clue. No clue i was one, and no clue i could not be.
Two years have gone by, amazingly, and i have experienced Ayahuasca 11 times, shrooms 4 or 5 times, Peyote once, Kambo twice and Bufo Alvarius twice.
But what has changed ?

Video

How to lose weight without losing muscle

Day 17 of my 66 day challenge to myself : exercise every day. Weight is stable but the blubber is melting.

It is really quite easy. Strain your muscles and eat protein right afterwards. That’s it in a nutshell.
For more details on how i am doing it, you have a long video and a short one, make your pick.

Long version

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Short version

Video

The Ayahuasca Dieta Diaries, Peru

In February 2016 i went to Pucallpa, Peru, for a 2 week shaman’s diet. The one hour boat ride got us to a Shipibo settling of 1000 called San Francisco. Road access ended when the bridge got detroyed by the rain. For 2 weeks we dieted in quasi isolation, eating the same oil-free & salt-free vegetarian meals, and attended 5 Ayahuasca ceremonies, whilst dieting on another master plant for about 10 days. Never has Ayahuasca been this intense. Bufo Alvarius was not far off.

For the whole duration i took notes, as some deep shit hit my fan. These are the highlights from my dieta diaries.

May you be well !
🙂

Part 1 of 7 (more will be uploaded in a few moments) :

Part 2 :

Part 3 :

Part 4 :

Bufo Alvarius vs Ayahuasca

I was asked in a comment on my YouTube channel to make a video about the difference between Bufo Alvarius and Ayahuasca.

I forgot to mention something very important in the video : Ayahuasca requires thorough and lengthy preparation and also has many contra indications, Bufo Alvarius does not have so many (keep off anti-depressants, though). Intention, however, is still required and/or recommended.

May you be well !
🙂

Long version (for shorter version scroll down) :

Short version :

How to meditate in 3 easy tips

I used to struggle but i found out why. In this brief video i explain the 3 simple tricks i use to succeed every time. I hope this helps you.

May you be well !
🙂
Yann

P.S. I use Kelly Howell’s Brainsync meditation tracks, which have helpful music & sounds as well as, sometimes, guided word and/or breathing exercises.
I use ‘Awakening Kundalini’ in the mornings and at night whilst going to sleep i use either ‘The Secret To Attracting Wealth’ (track 3) or ‘The Secret Universal Mind Meditation Vol.2’. All of the latter are amazingly good.
And other options are available out there, so if those don’t work for you just try something different. I found the Meditainment tracks to be very light and not convincing. Tara Brach, on the other hand, i liked. It was music-free and very very effective — also highly recommended.

[Update 2017-11-08: because i have been using Kelly Howell’s guided MP3 meditation tracks so much, and because i recommend them wholeheartedly, i have decided to register on her Brainsync website for an affiliate link to share with you. I never share anything “monetised” unless i use it myself, and this is in fact the first time i use any form of monetisation on this blog or on my YouTube channel. It won’t cost you anything, it just means that the blog receives a % on what you purchase if you are a new customer to Kelly — i hope you don’t mind. I do not see any harm in this, i hope you shall not either. Thank you).
By using the following link to purchase these great meditation tracks you may help this blog : Brainsync Meditation MP3s by Kelly Howell.]

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